a close family member - someone I’ve trusted a lot and the only person i could really talk to about mental health who understood depression, etc - is serving time for consuming such material. (I was never at risk as I didn’t grow up with him and he isn’t into girls anyway).

He would’ve used forums like these… and I just want to throw up visualising that side of him on the screen. Like seeing him actually do it. Juxtaposing that with all the good qualities I know about this person and how long I chose not to think too much about the offending. It’s a mind fuck.

On the one hand you’re absolutely right about the ongoing work to chip away at the abuse and that there are people working at it. On the other it is just so… The desire for people to seek more and more gratification seems unprecedented and partly a function of our modern lives, I feel. Leaves one feeling uneasy